Teach Your Kids Life Skills

July 28th, 2010 by Sue Becker No comments »

Teach kids life skills“Brush your teeth”, “Make your bed”, “Feed the fish” – parents sometimes feel like a broken record when it comes to handing out chores to their kids. And sometimes (ok, maybe often), rather than delegate, we might do something ourselves because it’s easier than doing battle with the kids or because we know we’ll do it better – I know firsthand how true that is. But I think we owe it to our kids to have them help out around the house – it teaches them responsibility and helps train them to be mature independent adults. And isn’t our job as parents to one day push them out of the nest and watch them fly?

My oldest son recently graduated from college and moved out of state. I’m sad that he’s so far away, yet happy for his great job opportunity and comforted to know that he has the life skills he’ll need (at least most of them) to comfortably and confidently get along in the “real” world. Of course he didn’t just learn those skills overnight – my husband and I have been preparing him for this phase of his life for the past 22 years. We’ve had him and his younger brother participate in a variety of chores, from mowing the lawn to emptying the dishwasher, doing their own laundry to managing their own bank account.

There have been some stumbling blocks along the way, but we view those as teaching moments that are sometimes more powerful than any verbal lesson could be. Without going into great detail and violating his privacy, I’ll just say that my son had an issue with a credit card that really surprised us. It taught us that we can’t only teach by example – explicit instructions are often necessary. Many of my clients are impacted by this same lack of specific training – I’m constantly amazed at how many of them tell me they grew up in organized homes, yet they’ve hired me to help them get organized because they don’t know how to do it. Their parents did everything for them so they never learned the process of being organized. Some of the basic skills I often have to teach them are:

  • How to keep a calendar
  • How to keep track of bills
  • How to set up a filing system
  • How to establish a process for doing laundry
  • How to put things away when finished with them

I invite you to consider what tasks you’re doing yourself that your kids are capable of handling, and how you can get them more involved in being contributing members of the household. What lessons did your parents not teach you that you wish they had?

Here’s to your life of simplicity, harmony and freedom,

Signature_Sue

Take a Break and Get More Done

July 21st, 2010 by Sue Becker 1 comment »

TAKE A BREAKWhen life gets busy (and when doesn’t it?) we often feel that we have to put our head down and plow full steam ahead to get as much done as possible. While it may seem counterintuitive, taking a break can actually help you accomplish more, and make life more enjoyable at the same time. Giving your mind (and body) a chance to rest can help refocus your attention and boost your energy as well as help relieve stress and sharpen your cognitive ability.

In their book, The Power of Full Engagement, energy management gurus Jim Loehr  and Tony Schwartz describe the physiological changes our bodies go through when we’ve reached a low point in our energy cycle. While techniques such as drinking coffee or eating a candy bar may successfully produce a short-term energy boost, they’re not a great substitute for our body’s natural cycle of engagement and recovery.

I’ve experienced this productivity recovery phenomenon first-hand. Back in my paper-writing days during college and grad school, I’d intentionally walk away from my current writing assignment for 15 minutes or so and be amazed at the renewed focus and energy I’d discover upon my return to the task. I’d also marvel at the ease with which I’d catch errors that I previously hadn’t noticed.  A fresh set of eyes and a clear mind made all the difference.

Taking breaks has also been shown to be highly beneficial for people with AD/HD. My own experience when working with clients with AD/HD has shown that when they take a short break of ten or so minutes, it breaks up the monotony (serving their desire for a change of pace) and boosts their energy. “Green” breaks during which they look outside (or even go outside) to look at the green grass or trees have also proven to be highly beneficial. A study by researchers at the University of Essex (England) found that just 5 minutes a day of exposure to nature is all you need to improve your mood and self-esteem.

To get yourself in the habit of taking breaks, determine what your concentration limit is and set a timer to remind yourself to walk away from your current project for a while. The length of the break is less important than the act of simply changing your focus for a moment – something as simple as taking a bathroom break can do wonders for your productivity. Maybe drinking eight glasses of water a day (or whatever the experts now say is the proper amount) can have a side benefit of boosting your productivity by making you take a bio break every few hours.

 So how will you minimize the mental field trips your mind takes as you work through your day?

Here’s to your life of simplicity, harmony and freedom,

Signature_Sue

What’s Your Tipping Point?

July 14th, 2010 by Sue Becker 1 comment »

Broken WindowDid you ever notice that clutter seems to attract clutter? When you plop something “here for now” does that one item seem to multiply? Often a few out-of-place items seem to give us permission to continue adding to the jumble. We drop the bag of items from the store by the door because we don’t feel like putting them away right now. We set the mail on the counter “for now” because we don’t have time to deal with it. We dump the laundry from the dryer onto the couch because we don’t have time to fold it just yet. Pretty soon our home looks like a chaotic mess because our habits have allowed the clutter to creep up on us.

 I’ve previously written about the importance and challenges of finishing the job to completion. In his fascinating book The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell describes “the broken window” hypothesis which states “disorder invites even more disorder – a small deviation from the norm can set into motion a cascade of vandalism and criminality.” Certainly clutter is not criminal, but it sure can leave you feeling like a victim. It can insidiously creep into our homes and take over. 

Rather than allowing clutter to overtake your life, I challenge you (and myself) to pay attention to the habits that are causing your “clutter creep” and nip them in the bud. Have a place for things, and put them there right away – don’t fall into that here for now habit. If you have trouble deciding where something goes, remember the two basic organizing principles: 1. Store things near where they’re used, and 2. Store similar things together.

Adopt the habit of putting things away rather than putting them down. One of my clients actually made a sign for her kitchen to remind her of that goal. Ask yourself, “Do I really want to put it there?” When you catch yourself saying you don’t have time to put something away, consider how long it would really take. Can it possibly take more than 20 second to hang up your coat? Does it take more than a minute or two to toss the bedspread on your bed? Would it take more than a minute to pull the receipts out of your purse and put them where they belong? I’d love to hear how you’ve stopped clutter in its tracks.

Here’s to your life of simplicity, harmony and freedom,

Signature_Sue

Organize Your Purse, Wallet and Briefcase

July 7th, 2010 by Sue Becker No comments »

Organize your purseIt’s hard to believe, but we’re half way through the year – how are your New Year’s resolutions coming along? Was one of them to lose weight? It may not quite be what you had in mind, but if you’re trying to shed a few pounds, one quick and easy way to do that is to clean out the purse, wallet, briefcase and/or bag you’ve been lugging around. Besides lightening your load, it will make the things you carry with you every day more organized and easy to find. 

 

Empty it out. Dump the contents of your purse, wallet, bag or briefcase into a shoebox or other container so nothing gets lost. 

 

Toss the trash. You may discover you’ve been carrying around a portable trashcan. Toss the obvious items: used or tattered tissues, old or empty makeup containers, mysterious scraps of paper, gum or mints that are coated with lint, ATM receipts that are so old you can no longer read them, etc.

 

Sort the rest. Divide items between those you need to carry all the time (keys, sunglasses, cell phone, pen, notepad, etc.) and those that are questionable – although any one item may not take up much space or add much weight, collectively these items can have a big impact:  

 

Makeup: Maybe you can just carry your lipstick, and keep the rest of your touch-up items at work so you don’t have to schlep them back and forth from home each day.

Loose change: Unless you’re saving it for a serendipitous encounter with a slot machine, put that loose change at the bottom of your purse or bag into your wallet or pants pocket where you can use it, or into a jar at home if you want to save it.

Checkbook: If you only write checks occasionally, maybe you can carry just a check or two in your wallet. Use carbon checks to serve as a reminder to note the check in your check register.

Here’s a link to my newsletter where I offer additional tips on how to organize your purse, wallet and briefcase.

 

Wishing you simplicity, harmony and freedom,

Signature_Sue

Multitasking Doesn’t Work

June 30th, 2010 by Sue Becker 7 comments »

MULTITASKINGConfucius once said, “The man who chases two rabbits, catches none” – or something like that. Multitasking is a bit like chasing two rabbits – we set our sights on one goal, then shift them to another while still trying to keep track of the first goal. In the end, instead of completing multiple tasks more quickly, they often end up taking longer and aren’t done as well as if we had focused on one at a time.

I used to think I was a good (make that great) multi-tasker. I could carry on a phone conversation and check email at the same time. Ha – I sure was surprised a while ago during a phone conversation with a business associate when she asked me what I thought of her idea and I realized I had no idea what she was talking about. I was reading my emails while she was talking, and somehow my brain stopped paying attention even though my ears were well aware of the fact that she was talking. As it turns out, our brain can’t multitask, but rather, it switches back and forth between activities, paying attention to only one at a time – or in my case, eventually paying attention to only one thing for an extended period of time.

The New York Times reports that, “While many people say multitasking makes them more productive, research shows otherwise. Heavy multitaskers actually have more trouble focusing and shutting out irrelevant information, scientists say, and they experience more stress. And scientists are discovering that even after the multitasking ends, fractured thinking and lack of focus persist.”

It’s understandable that we feel the need to multitask – our lives are becoming increasingly complex, ironically due in part to the technology that was supposed to make our lives easier. We are constantly accessible by phone, email and text messages help make sure we’re never caught up on our communications, and social media soaks up even more of our time. Our attention is being pulled in so many directions that we feel as though we have to multitask just to keep our heads above water.

Ever since my embarrassing phone fiasco, I’ve made a point not to multitask, or to stop it as soon as I’m aware I’m doing it. I’ve found that when my eyes as well as my brain are purposely focused on one thing at a time I feel less frazzled and more in control. Without trying to sound overbearing, I’d like to challenge you to stop whatever multitasking you engage in, just for a day, or even just for an hour, and let me know how it affects your productivity.

Best wishes for success,

Signature_Sue

Focus is the Key to Success

June 23rd, 2010 by Sue Becker 5 comments »

FocusLast week I mentioned focus as one of the attributes of success. Although I consider myself successful, I definitely have trouble staying focused. Since most of my time is spent working with clients, I have very little time available to work in my office on administrative tasks (like writing this blog). If you are challenged in this area as well, maybe you can benefit from some of the things that have helped me stay focused when I‘m working in my office:

I have a clear goal and purpose. I make sure that whatever I’m working on is moving me closer to one of my personal or professional goals. If a task isn’t meaningful in that way, I strongly evaluate why I’m even considering doing it. If I have trouble getting passionate about something once I’ve started it, I step back and re-evaluate whether I should be working on it.

I close my email window. It’s typically much more interesting to see what messages are coming my way than work on the task at hand, so I close my email window to avoid being tempted. Oops, I just closed my email now as I write this.

I set a timer. I set it in 30-minute increments and tell myself I can’t leave my desk or work on anything else until the timer goes off. Knowing that I only have to focus on the task at hand for a half hour makes it easy to avoid interrupting myself to do something else.

I immerse myself in the current task. I organize my workspace, ignore the phone (which is sometimes very hard to do), and stay focused on the goal for each 30-minute session. My goal for this session is to get this blog post written.

I take breaks. After each 30-minute work session I take a break of 10 minutes or so before the next focused session begins. I might grab a snack, make a phone call, or do some quick tasks from my to-do list. Whatever it is, it doesn’t require a lot of brain power or a big chunk of time.

I write down random thoughts. If ideas pop into my head that aren’t related to what I’m working on, I write them on either my master to do list for future scheduling, or in my planner for whatever day I plan to do them. Then I get right back to work.

I meditate. I’ve only recently begun meditating – I never thought it was something I needed and I certainly didn’t think I had time for it. But I took a class to get me started and listen to some guided meditations to help me stay focused. It doesn’t take a lot of time and it helps me clear my head so that I can focus more easily during my workday. Here are a couple of resources I like: Mindful Meditations  and Energetic Solutions

Whew, finished writing with 2 minutes to spare on my timer. I’d love to hear how you stay focused when life is pulling you in a million different directions.

Wishing you simplicity, harmony and freedom,

Signature_Sue

Life Lessons Learned from a Hockey Team

June 16th, 2010 by Sue Becker 1 comment »

#1 fanMy favorite sports team, the Chicago Blackhawks, recently won the championship trophy for professional hockey – the Stanley Cup. Whether or not you’re a hockey fan, you can learn some important lessons from the Blackhawks:

Surround yourself with people who can help you achieve your vision. In 2004, ESPN named the Blackhawks the worst franchise in professional sports – that’s all professional sports, not just hockey. Personnel changes were made throughout the management ranks at all levels, and just six years later, the Blackhawks have won what is arguably the hardest championship of all professional sports to win. Are the people in your life or business able to support you in being your best?

Let people know you care about them. With new, visionary thinkers at the helm, the Blackhawks changed many of their policies, including how they interacted with their fans and past players. Within the last three years, they’ve held their first fan convention, allowed the games to be televised, and invited past stars to be ambassadors for the team. As a result, game attendance has skyrocketed. Are you treating the people in your life, including family members, employees, customers and vendors in a way that makes them want to support you?

Focus and commitment will get you to your goal.  Several years ago, the Blackhawks adopted a marketing campaign with the slogan “One Goal” – that being the Stanley Cup. Their advertising, as well as their mindset, had them focused on achieving that goal. In fact, when they won several rounds of the playoffs this year, they didn’t allow themselves to celebrate too much, because they hadn’t yet achieved their goal of winning the Stanley Cup. What goals do you have for yourself, and what are you doing to focus on achieving them?

Wishing you succes in achieving your goals,

Signature_Sue

The Job Isn’t Finished Until All Steps are Completed

June 9th, 2010 by Sue Becker 6 comments »

LAUNDRYA recent client of mine (I’ll call her Donna) struggled mightily with getting her clean laundry put away rather than strewing it across the living room couch. As we worked to understand the causes of her challenge, we discovered that she didn’t view putting the laundry away as being at all related to other steps in the laundry process. Instead, she viewed each step (sort clothes, load washer, run washer, empty washer, load dryer, empty dryer, fold clothes, put clothes away) as separate from and unrelated to any other step in the process. In her view, sorting and washing the clothes without having time to do any of the subsequent steps was better than having a mile high stack of dirty clothes. However, operating in this fashion sometimes (ok, often) caused Donna to have to rewash wrinkled clothes that sat in the dryer for several day, or even moldy clothes that sat wet in the washer for a few days.

Donna struggled with several identified learning disabilities, and as we worked together we discovered another one: challenges with sequencing. She knew darn well what the individual steps in the laundry process were, but didn’t see that they were all connected in a way that required all to be completed before she could consider the job of laundry to be done (although we both sadly acknowledged that laundry is never done!).

Many things that come up in our life are similar to the laundry process in that they involve several steps. For example, eating dinner involves meal planning (even if it’s just staring into an open refrigerator), cooking, setting the table, eating, clearing the table, doing dishes, cleaning the pots and pans, etc. – you get the idea. If we do some of the steps in the process (let’s say, up to the point of eating) but don’t finish the remaining steps, we’ve created more work for ourselves in the long run. In this example, the next time we want to cook dinner we’ll have to first clean the pots and pans from the prior meal, effectively having to start today’s work by finishing yesterday’s tasks. If instead we’d finished each such job through to completion we’d make life a lot easier for ourselves.

I’d love to hear what challenges you face in finishing things through to completion, and how it impacts your life.

Wishing you simplicity, harmony and freedom,

Signature_Sue

An Organized Vacation is a Relaxing Vacation

June 2nd, 2010 by Sue Becker 3 comments »

VACATION

Summer is almost here – the most popular time of year to go on vacation. While you may be looking forward to your vacation destination, you may be dreading the last-minute scrambling that typically accompanies your pursuit of relaxation. The following tips will help make sure your trip is actually as relaxing and enjoyable as you’ve imagined it will be by helping you get organized before you leave.

Have a single place where all of your travel information is stored.  Use a notebook, file folder or binder to hold your itinerary, airline tickets, car rental information, passports, maps, travel agent information, brochures, etc.

Use lists to help you make sure that you have everything taken care of before you leave. You should have a packing list for each family member, as well as a to-do list of all the things you need to take care of before you go. My APPLES Resource Guide includes a comprehensive vacation checklist to help you get started.

Prepare instructions for whoever is taking care of your house, mail, pets and plants.  If members of more than one family will be caring for these items, let them know who the other people are so they won’t be surprised to see them in your home. Write down exactly what you expect each person to do while you’re gone. Give them phone numbers where they can reach you in an emergency (both hotel and cell phone numbers). 

Set aside an area to accumulate your travel necessities as you pack. A spare bedroom or an unused corner of a bedroom is ideal. Start gathering things several weeks before you’re scheduled to leave so that you don’t have to endure a last minute shopping and packing marathon. You don’t have to actually start packing the suitcases yet (although you can), but at least start to pull together some of the items on your packing list. If you’ll be traveling to a different climate, make sure everyone’s off-season clothing still fits.

Here’s a link to my newsletter where I offer additional tips on how to organize for vacation.

Wishing you simplicity, harmony and freedom,

Signature_Sue

A Pro Can Help You Exercise Your Organizing Muscle – Part 2

May 26th, 2010 by Sue Becker No comments »

MUSCLE 2Last week I discussed some reasons why you might hire a professional organizer and how they’re similar to why you might hire a personal trainer. Here are some additional comparisons:

You need accountability.  Many of my clients tell me that just knowing I’m coming  to meet with them motivates them into action. Knowing that I’ll be calling or emailing them to check on how things are going is also a great motivator. So find someone to hold you accountable and see if that prompts you to keep things organized.

You have a condition that makes it hard to do it yourself. Depression, AD/HD, fibromyalgia, and hoarding tendencies are examples of the many conditions that may make it extremely hard to get and stay organize on your own. Working with an experienced organizer who is trained in these areas can help you move beyond what you ever imagined was possible. Organizers with the designation CPO-CD® (Certified Professional Organizer in Chronic Disorganization) have gone through extensive training and testing to understand the special challenges these conditions cause. They can even work with your therapist or doctor to help you have the most effective outcome.

You have an impending event or other deadline. If you’re under a time crunch because company is coming, a parent is moving in, you’re moving, or some other special circumstance exists, an experienced organizer can help you create a plan of action to meet your deadline, as well as offer hands-on support to turn the plan into reality.

You want supervision and support during sessions. Maybe you’ve read organizing books and seen some of the organizing TV shows but you still want some guidance and encouragement as you go through the organizing process. An organizer can help you make sure you’re on the right track and help you develop a good plan of action to achieve your goals.

You want help using the equipment properly. Storage bins, file cabinets, shelving and similar supplies and equipment can play an important role in the organizing process. If you’re not sure how to make use of these tools, a professional organizer can help. They’ll show you how to use what you already have, give you guidance on what to purchase, and can even purchase items and set them up for you.

Let me know how your organizing “exercise”  program is going.

Best wishes,

Signature_Sue