I recently encountered a situation with my client, whom I’ll call “Ann”, which exemplifies how some people think neatening is the same thing as organizing, and how detrimental that can be. Ann has several chronic medical conditions that generate lots of paperwork, leaving her buried in piles and overwhelmed. She also tends to be an over-shopper, buying things because they’re fun or pretty, not because she’ll necessarily use them, although she says she intends to give them as gifts someday. In addition, she has emotional attachments to gift boxes, greeting cards, stickers, ribbon, and other gift-giving supplies. Ann also envisions herself as being a great cook some day, so she stockpiles recipes and cooking supplies. I’ve worked with Ann on and off for several years to set up systems for her paperwork and create space for the emotion-evoking things that fill her small condo.
When we work together, Ann tells me that she hates her cluttered home, but although her head tells her she should let go of many of the unused things that fill her space, her heart won’t let her release them. I’ve been using motivational interviewing techniques and guidance from the book Buried in Treasures to slowly help Ann release things that aren’t giving her joy. We had been making slow but steady progress until “Linda” (not her real name) entered Ann’s life.
Linda is Ann’s cleaning woman. She told Ann she could whip her place into shape in four hours. Ann, being emotionally vulnerable and helpless, agreed to have Linda work her self-described magic. Unfortunately Linda, who was great at cleaning, wasn’t so great at organizing. She embraced the same philosophy kids often use when you tell them to clean their room – getting things out of sight is the goal. Linda shoved things wherever they would fit – cooking supplies were jammed into kitchen cabinets; recipes were shoved onto shelves; excess paperwork was tossed into large lidded bins; potential gifts were placed into boxes stacked from floor to ceiling; and gift boxes were stacked to go to recycling.
When Linda excitedly showed Ann the neat-as-a-pin results of her work, Ann was horrified. She could no longer see the things she loved, find the important papers that were previously stacked on her dining room table, or easily access the few pots and pans she used regularly. Even worse, the gift boxes that meant so much to her were unceremoniously awaiting their execution in the recycling bin.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, where you just want to make things neater and better for someone (including yourself), be sure to respect their feelings and recognize that neatening and getting things out of sight isn’t the goal of organizing – making it easy to find things when you need them and being surrounded by the things you love is what matters.
Wishing you simplicity, harmony and freedom,
Did you ever notice that clutter seems to attract clutter? When you plop something “here for now” does that one item seem to multiply? Often a few out-of-place items seem to give us permission to continue adding to the jumble. We drop the bag of items from the store by the door because we don’t feel like putting them away right now. We set the mail on the counter “for now” because we don’t have time to deal with it. We dump the laundry from the dryer onto the couch because we don’t have time to fold it just yet. Pretty soon our home looks like a chaotic mess because our habits have allowed the clutter to creep up on us.
A recent client of mine (I’ll call her Donna) struggled mightily with getting her clean laundry put away rather than strewing it across the living room couch. As we worked to understand the causes of her challenge, we discovered that she didn’t view putting the laundry away as being at all related to other steps in the laundry process. Instead, she viewed each step (sort clothes, load washer, run washer, empty washer, load dryer, empty dryer, fold clothes, put clothes away) as separate from and unrelated to any other step in the process. In her view, sorting and washing the clothes without having time to do any of the subsequent steps was better than having a mile high stack of dirty clothes. However, operating in this fashion sometimes (ok, often) caused Donna to have to rewash wrinkled clothes that sat in the dryer for several day, or even moldy clothes that sat wet in the washer for a few days.
Although organizing and exercising may not seem to have much in common, they actually have many similarities: both require discipline to keep it up; both help you (or your environment) look and feel better; both are good for you; and both sometimes require the help of an outside professional. I often encounter prospective clients who have trouble justifying hiring me to help them do what they feel they “should” be able to do themselves. One such prospect nervously asked me if all I’d do is sit there and watch her go through papers. I suggested that her concern was similar to someone who might ask if all a personal trainer does is count. You don’t hire a professional primarily for what they know and do, but mostly for what they help you achieve and become. After all, even the best professional athletes have a coach.
Time – you can’t see or touch it, yet it plays a major role in our lives. There are many facets to time management, but I want to focus here on viewing time as something tangible, something you organize as you would any physical space. In her book, 
I specialize in organizing people who are chronically disorganized, especially those with AD/HD. I love working with this population – they’re typically fun, willing to learn, intelligent and appreciative of the help I give them. AD/HD is often misunderstood and even dismissed as not being real, so I’m taking this opportunity to provide a bit of information about it. The initials AD/HD stand for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, but the official abbreviation of AD/HD is used whether or not someone has the hyperactivity component. AD/HD is a neurobiological disorder characterized by impulsivity, inattentiveness, and in some cases, hyperactivity.
