Posts Tagged ‘ADD’

Get Organized and Find Fulfillment

March 18th, 2013

I’ve previously written about how clearing the clutter from your life can help you be more prosperous. I’ve just finished reading another book that supports the same concept: The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity: A Simple Guide to Unlimited Abundance by Edwene Gaines. Ms. Gaines describes her own journey from poverty to prosperity and gives those of us who may feel guilty about doing so permission to live a life of abundance. While that abundant life may be rich in physical possessions, she indicates that it should also include fully using our talents and letting the light of our abilities shine for the world to see and benefit from.

One concept from the book in particular resonated with me is be who you really are. I spent 20 years in a variety of accounting and finance jobs before I realized that I wasn’t being who I really was. I was going through the motions of going to work every day with the knowledge that in the big scheme of things, my job was insignificant. My lack of fulfillment led me to do some soul-searching and I was lucky enough to discover a great outlet for my skills. My job as an organizing and productivity coach not only allows me to fully use my talents, but the fact that I get to help other people live a better life give me the fulfillment I was missing in my corporate jobs.

Many of my clients, especially those with ADHD, struggle to fit into the square hole that the world seems to offer them. They spend time and money building a life that reflects what they think the world wants them to be, rather than being who they really are. They may have a job that they don’t find fulfilling; or live in a home that doesn’t bring them joy or reflect who they are; or go to social events that make them feel like an actor in someone else’s play. As I help them with the process of de-cluttering and organizing their life, they often discover their authentic self and that allows us to create an environment that brings them joy.

For example, I recently coached a client on how to develop and practice time management skills in her workplace. We talked about how she was spending her time versus how she wanted to spend her time; what she was getting done versus what she wanted to get done; what she always seemed to make time for versus what she never seemed to have time for. As we sketched out how her work week would look, she realized that none of it would bring her joy. Even if she worked more efficiently, she wouldn’t find her job fulfilling. She eventually left that job and started her own business in a completely different field. When she thanked me for helping her make the most of her skills, she also expressed her desire to “encourage other adults like me that following passion and being happy is SO liberating.”

Does your life allow you to follow your true passion? Is your environment cluttered with possessions that don’t reflect who you are and who you want to become? Is your home or workplace filled with clutter that prevents you from moving forward on your journey to discover your true self? Are your days filled with activities that prevent you from achieving your greatest possibilities? These can be scary questions to ponder, but you can go through the process of getting organized at a pace that’s comfortable for you as you find the answers. As you work through your organizing challenges, you’ll move along the path towards living a fulfilling life that will let your light shine before the world. Good luck on your journey, and feel free to contact me if you’d like help along the way.

Wishing you simplicity, harmony and freedom,

Lists Can Help You Gain Control

October 1st, 2012

Get the oil on the car changed; plan Saturday’s dinner party; write thank you note to Jenna – these are the items on my to-do list for today. And I mean an actual written list, not just some ideas floating around in my head. Why, you may ask, would I need to write these down? After all, it’s only three things. Writing things down prevents me from forgetting things, helps me know what to focus on, and frees me from the stress of having to remember. Writing it isn’t the same as having it in my head – a written list is like a best friend who gently reminds me what and when I should be working on hings to keep me out of trouble. A written list puts me in control of my day, and it can do the same for you.

I have several lists that help me take advantage of the power of writing things down, and I’m sharing them with you here. If you’d like a complete collection of all the forms and lists that help me and my clients stay organized, check out my APPLES Resource Guide. Fear not, Jenna – your thank-you note is in the mail!

Before I start describing my lists, I want to comment on what form your lists can take. I prefer written lists – they work well with my paper planner and I like the hand-to-brain connection of writing things down. You may prefer electronic lists – something you can save on your computer or carry around on your smart phone. Here are two resources that can get you started on making electronic lists: IQtell and Lifehacker. I’d love to hear what electronic lists you like to use.

Okay, on to my list of lists:

Master To-Do List This is where I write down things I have to do that I’m not quite sure when I’ll do. For example, I want to follow my own advice and update my emergency plans (e.g., what to do if a tornado wipes out my home). I could just choose a date to do it and jot it down on the corresponding page in my planner. However, my next couple of months are very full so I’m not quite sure when I’ll do it. Rather than trusting that I’ll remember to do it at some point, I’ve added it to my master to-do list. I keep this list in my planner, review it once a week (the reminder to do so is on my Weekly To-Do List) and schedule anything I’m ready to commit to doing. You can read more about a master do-do list in my previous blog posting.

Weekly To-Do List My weekly to-do list is typed onto a notecard that moves from Sunday to Sunday (attached via paper clip) in my paper planner. It reminds me to do things like water the houseplants, plan next week’s meals (check out my previous blog posting on meal planning), and prepare for next week’s clients. My houseplants, hungry family and clients appreciate my being on top of these things.

Daily To-Do List I have two kinds of daily to-do lists; one is similar to what most people use – I pick three to five things I want to get done on any given day and write those in my planner. But I also have a daily list that’s typed on a notecard and moves from day to day in my planner. It lists recurring tasks I want to attend to each day, like water my outdoor flowers, thaw the next day’s dinner (thanks to planning meals each week, this is easy), and check some of my social media sites. Even though I remember to do most of these things without looking at the list, having them written down keeps things from falling through the cracks.

Here’s a link to my newsletter where you can read more about the lists that keep me organized. I’d love to hear what lists you use to help you stay on top of things

Wishing you simplicity, harmony and freedom,

 

Family with ADHD Gets Organized Together

September 13th, 2012

My favorite part about my job is that I help people improve the quality of their lives – whether I’m working with them side by side or by phone, or even through my blog or newsletter. I received an email from someone I’ve never met, but who was inspired by my writings to set herself and her family on the path towards being organized. I’m sharing her note to inspire you to discover the simplicity, harmony and freedom of being organized in your own home:

“Dear Sue,
My 10 year old son is diagnosed ADHD and my husband and I, we suspect, also have some ADHD in us.  So it’s great to see someone addressing these types of issues when it comes to organization.

Your posts are always so helpful.  I just read your blog post on clutter and financial prosperity.  That is so true, both directly and indirectly!  I also read over your back to school post which is a great reminder for us.  And I just planned out my menu for the remainder of the week.  I try to plan menus and it doesn’t always happen but when it does things definitely run smoother.

Wanted to share my story with you…maybe you’ve mentioned something like this in the past in your blog but here goes. I’ve been struggling all summer to declutter my home. I went back to work full-time a little over 2 years ago.  It was a big transition then and things are now starting to really pile up, closets bulging, financial papers in disarray, etc., etc.  We have a bi-weekly cleaning service come in but I think that actually makes the clutter worse as things are put in piles and stashed away for cleaning. Even though everything looks great after a cleaning, by the end of 2 weeks, things are everywhere again and have to be pile or stashed away;  the cycle repeats itself.  So I’ve decided the whole house needs a good decluttering and downsizing of stuff….I’ve made a little progress this summer but then I get tired, overwhelmed, overly perfectionist-y, burned out and turn my attention elsewhere. It’s almost the end of the summer and my list is still pretty long.

This week, I decided to ask my family for help. My husband can’t stand clutter but he doesn’t know what to throw away, put away, etc. When I was a stay at home mom, we got into some bad habits of me handling everything in the home. So, he usually gets overwhelmed, moves things around a little bit and just retreats to the basement.  Then there are the kids…they are 10 and 6.  They certainly don’t want to waste their free time cleaning. But I can’t do it all.  I am also making a serious effort at getting fit so my time is limited.

So yesterday morning, I wrote them all a sweet note and informed them of my intentions to start the school year organized. I wrote that I would like them all to help and we would start in the evening with our craft pantry and plastics drawers.  Then I left for work before they got up.

When I picked up the kids at the end of the day and asked them about my plan, they were not thrilled. Neither was my husband. But after dinner and some downtime, my daughter and I got started.  And eventually, the guys got involved, too.  I gave them jobs they could handle…I had the kids help me take items out of the drawer. Then together we went through the different cups and decided which to throw away. My husband glued a found broken item. Then he was ready to wipe down the drawers and put everything away. He didn’t put things away exactly the way I would but it was done and organized, which is all that matters. (big aha moment for me!)  The kids and I started on the craft cabinet which really took an all-hands-on-deck approach. To my surprise, they did a really good job of letting things go and my daughter was downright relentless (lol)! We decided we should add a couple of shelves to the cabinet so my husband worked on that. At bedtime, everything still needed to be put away. I took care of that and sent everyone to bed. I ran out of time but will finish putting the last few items away tonight. It should only take a few minutes.

What I’ve been trying to accomplish all summer, the family finished in a couple of hours. In addition to some cleaner spaces and checking off some nagging projects, we also got the unexpected benefits of family bonding and a feeling of teamwork. At one point, one of the kids said it was actually kind of fun!  And I don’t know how many times I heard, “Oh! That’s where that is!”  Now, hopefully the kids will also take some pride in their work and help keep things cleaner. Now we have some momentum and I think we’re going to tackle our dining room tonight.

Well, thanks for listening to my long story. Since you “helped” do this in a sense, I thought you should know. I know it was only half of a pantry and a couple of drawers but I think this is the start of something big in our
home.
Take care,
Chris”

Thanks so much for sharing, Chris – please check in again and let us all know how you’re doing. I’d love to hear from other readers about how your organizing journey is going. And if you need a bit of help, either in person or by phone, please get in touch.

Wishing you simplicity, harmony and freedom,

 

Shopping: The Misguided Search for Happiness

July 18th, 2012

In my 12 years of helping people de-clutter and organize their lives, I know one thing for sure – Americans have too much stuff. Even though our houses are, on average, 50% bigger than the average house in the 1950s, we still need storage units to hold some of our belongings. Come on people, what’s with all the stuff! Is it making you happy?

I recently watched a TV show on which a financial planner was helping a couple develop a strategy to get out from under their credit card debt. The wife (I can’t remember her name, but I’ll call her “Janet”) went to the mall every weekend with her mother and sister and employed a shopping strategy whereby she “saved” money by buying things on sale that she didn’t need. The financial planner referred to  Janet’s strategy as “spaving” – the misguided notion that spending money to save money on things you don’t need is a viable financial strategy. As it turned out, Janet got as much pleasure from being with her mom and sister as she did from making the purchases. She revised her behavior so she would simply enjoy the time with them without making any purchases. In the long run, she got more happiness from reducing her financial burden than from spaving.

I’ve worked with a particular client (I’ll call him “Joe”) for quite a few years – he’s on an eternal quest to make his condo less cluttered so visiting family members can stay overnight in his spare bedroom. Unfortunately, that bedroom is filled with “bargains” from shopping adventures. As much as Joe loves the idea of having an inviting home, he can’t get over the thrill of the bargain hunt, and his hunting “trophies” have taken over his guest room. Joe justifies his purchases by saying he’ll be giving them as gifts to those same family members he can’t have over, and he feels good about how thoughtful he is. Sadly, the gifts never seem to make it to their intended recipients. Joe is fed up with his situation – his bargains and his intent to be thoughtful sure haven’t made him happy. By the way, you may be surprised to know that statistics suggest that almost half of over-shoppers may be male.

I’m fortunate to have an inherent dislike of shopping, so I’ve never found myself in Janet or Joe’s situation. But I certainly do understand it. In my training to become a Certified Professional Organizer in Chronic Disorganization, I learned that over-shopping is sometimes due to an unmet emotional need. If you think you may be shopping for that reason, ask yourself what you’re really shopping for. Like Janet, are you shopping for the social aspect? Are you trying to add some excitement to an otherwise boring day? It might be helpful to document how you’re feeling before, during and after you go shopping to see if there’s a pattern or common trigger.

The media certainly doesn’t make it any easier to resist the lure of shopping – magazine ads, TV ads, billboards, and even the content of TV shows and movies all tell us that more is better. If you can’t resist this external stimuli, turn it off – get off the catalog mailing lists (try CatalogChoice.org to make it easier), turn down the sound and walk away from the TV during commercials, unsubscribe from e-mail notifications from stores, etc.

You might also enlist the help of a supportive friend to keep you on track – is there someone you can call when you’re feeling tempted to shop who might fill the emotional void you’re trying to fill? Maybe you could take your support person with you when you absolutely have to go to the store to help keep you from straying into dangerous over-shopping territory. In addition to support from a friend, here’s a resource you may find helpful: Stopping Overshopping, LLC

In the words of writer Eric Hoffer, “You can never get enough of what you don’t need to make you happy.” Best wishes as you search for what truly makes you happy.

Wishing you simplicity, harmony and freedom,

Improve Your Focus by Minimizing Distractions

June 4th, 2012

As we transition into summer, it’s sometimes hard for me to stay focused on work-related tasks. Sunshine, singing birds, gentle breezes, even rainstorms all serve as potential distractions to my well-planned summer work schedule. I know many of you, especially those with AD/HD, face a similar challenge –staying focused when there are dozens of things hollering for your attention. Here are some ideas to help you stay on course yet still have time for fun in the sun:

Plan around your peak mental energy time. What time of day are you the most alert? Use that time to work on difficult, unpleasant tasks that require a lot of mental calories – you’ll be more likely to stay on task when your brainpower matches the complexity of the task at hand.

Remove physical distractions. Whether you’re working on a project at your desk or trying to get dinner on the table, remove things from view that might take you away from the task at hand. Put away papers and files you’re not currently working on before you pull out a new project; clean up remnants of past meals before starting to prepare a new one. If you’re working in a space that’s particularly messy and distractions are hard to put away, cover the areas you won’t be working on with a sheet to hide them from view.

Write it down. On a sticky note, jot down what you intend to be working on and put it where you can see it – next to your computer monitor, on your phone, on your hand – you get the idea. This visual reminder can rein you in when you’re starting to stray.

Use a timer. Set a timer at periodic intervals to check in with yourself and see if you’re working on what you intended.  Depending on your susceptibility to distraction, the intervals can be as short as 10 minutes or as long as an hour.

Here’s a link to my newsletter where you can read more about how to stay focused and get things done. I’d love to hear how you manage to stay focused when the rest of the world is calling to you.

Wishing you simplicity, harmony and freedom,

 

Get Organized for the Right Reasons

March 22nd, 2012

“To be able to open a cabinet, drawer or closet  and find what I’m looking for;” “To start my family’s day on time and on a positive note;” “To experience the joy of leisure time;” “To make living with AD/HD easier.” These are all reasons clients have told me they want to get organized. Although each reason supports a different goal, the one thing each of them has in common is that the end goal is about more than being organized – organization is a means to something bigger and more meaningful.

Why does a bigger, more meaningful reason matter? Why can’t one just get organized for organizings’s sake? Well, “getting organized” could be your ultimate goal, but it’s not particularly motivating. And motivation is just what you’ll need to stick with the organizing process, as well as to maintain the organizing systems you create.

Before you start your organizing project, decide what greater goal organizing will help you achieve. Will you have better relationships because you get to places on time and no longer keep your friends or family waiting? Will you eat better because you can easily find things in your kitchen, so preparing healthy meals at home will be a breeze? Think about the compelling reasons you want to get organized, and write them down. You might even want to post them where you can see them to motivate you during your organizing sessions, and to remind you to maintain your systems once you’ve set them up.

Another reason to create compelling reasons to get organized is to help guide you as you go through the decision-making process that’s inherent to the organizing process. For example, if one of your goals is to be able to get out the door quickly by easily finding things in your clothes closet, you may have to pare down your wardrobe to fit into the space that you have. As you evaluate each item in your closet, you can ask yourself how keeping it will help you get out the door quickly.

So how do you create your bigger goal around getting organized? Ask yourself what bothers you the most about your home, your office, your life. What frustrations do you experience because you have trouble finding things, you don’t get your bills paid on time, or your schedule is too full? What weight will be lifted when you get organized and regain control?

I’d love to hear your compelling reason for getting organized.

Wishing you simplicity, harmony and freedom,

 

 

 

Finish What You Start

December 14th, 2011

What do piles of opened mail, bags of stuff in the trunk of your car waiting to be returned to the store, and opened but unprocessed e-mails in your inbox all have in common? They are all things that have been started but not completed. Uncompleted tasks can weigh us down – rather than being able to cross something off our physical or mental to-do list, unfinished tasks nag at us and constantly reminds us there’s more work to do. They can also reduce our self-confidence by reminding us that once again we’ve failed to finish what we’ve started.

Not only can unfinished tasks have a psychic cost, but they can have a financial cost as well. For example, an unfinished quilt or other craft project can represent a huge financial investment. There’s not much return on investment (including the benefit of enjoying looking at our handiwork) when such a project is sitting in a heap waiting to be finished. Unprocessed mail can result in late fees on unpaid bills or overdraft charges from an un-reconciled bank account. Those bags of stuff waiting to go back to the store can be tying up a large amount of your cash.

There are lots of reasons why we may start something and not finish it, including fear, procrastination, poor time estimating, or even boredom. If you want to overcome your habit of not finishing what you start it’s important to figure out why you tend not to finish things and then figure out what to do about it. For example, maybe you’re afraid to finish something because you worry that you’ll have done it incorrectly or it won’t be good enough in other’s eyes. Procrastination may arise because you find the project overwhelming. Poor time estimating may find us starting something but just not having time to finish it. My clients with ADHD tend to have an especially difficult time finishing things, often because they get bored once the excitement of starting a project has worn off.

Once you know what your challenge is, evaluate it and determine what you can do about it. If fear is holding you back, evaluate the worst-case scenario. Maybe your anticipated outcome is worse than what’s realistic. See if you can get someone else’s input to help put things in perspective for you. In addition, remember that by not finishing a project, you run the risk of creating a bad impression in people’s eyes anyway.

If you find a task or project overwhelming, ask yourself what one small thing you can do to move forward. If you focus on just the very next thing you need to do you might find that the project is more manageable and that you’ll move it towards the finish line.

You may discover that you’re not committed to the project so you’re not motivated to finish it. For example, maybe once you started that quilt, you realized that you didn’t like the pattern or the fabric you’d chosen. Give yourself permission to recognize that you made a mistake in picking the pattern or fabric and then move on. Relieve yourself of the guilt of feeling like you have to finish it.

If time management is your challenge – you can’t finish one thing because you’re busy trying to get caught up on something else – you might find it helpful to get some time management coaching. An outside perspective can help you identify habits that are holding you back.

If boredom is preventing you from finishing things, find ways to overcome it. Use your peak energy time – that time of day when your brain is most engaged – to work on things you find boring. Play music, set a timer to challenge yourself, or find someone to work with you to help move that unexciting task forward.

Successful people don’t just talk about doing things, they actually do them, or get other people to do them. Either way, they get things across the finish line. Some days are going to be better than others, but as long as you keep moving forward, you’re bound to successfully get things completed.

Do you have a task that you’ve started but just can’t seem to complete? What steps do you need to take to get it to the finish line? Here’s to your successful completion of the things that are hanging over your head and weighing you down.

Wishing you simplicity, harmony and freedom,

Don’t Forget to Plan for Travel Time

February 16th, 2011

Senior woman in oldtimer carDo you feel like you’re always running late to appointments and events no matter how hard you try to be on time? Do you frequently lose patience when caught in traffic because you’re rushing to get somewhere? Many of my clients, especially those with ADHD, experience the same frustration.

One common cause of their recurring tardiness is not building travel time into their schedule. There are sometimes other issues as well, such as being anxious about arriving early and having nothing to do, but ignoring how long it takes to get somewhere is almost always part of the mix. 

So what’s the solution? Being cognizant of how long it takes to get somewhere is the first step. If you’re not good at estimating travel time (and certainly most people with ADHD are not), consider using an online mapping program (Mapquest, Google Maps, etc.) or a GPS to get you started. Add extra travel time to the estimate the program or GPS gives you, as appropriate. I sometimes go so far as to double the time given to account for traveling during a heavy traffic time of day. 

The next step is to record the travel time on your calendar (you do have a calendar, right?). If your appointment time is at noon, for example, and you’ve generously estimated it will take a half hour to get there, block off 11:30 – noon on your calendars so you can be sure you’ve set aside the right amount of time. Honor the 11:30 timeslot as importantly as you would that noon appointment – make sure you’re out the door when you need to be. 

Continue to increase your on-time arrival percentage by improving your travel time awareness. Pay attention to how long it takes to get places at various times of day; maybe it takes twice as long to get to a particular destination during rush hour as it does during midday, as long as accidents, weather conditions and other possible impediments aren’t a factor.

As I previously mentioned, there may be other issues that impact your on-time arrival, but planning for travel time will get you that much closer to being on time. I’d love to hear how well it works for you. 

Wishing you simplicity, harmony and freedom,

Signature Sue

AD/HD and (Dis) Organization

September 13th, 2010

AD/HD FrustrationThis week (September 13-17, 2010) is AD/HD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) Awareness Week. AD/HD is characterized by inattentiveness, impulsivity and sometimes, hyperactivity (the official name is AD/HD regardless of whether or not someone has the hyperactivity component). Although someone may have some or all of these traits, personal history, collaborative reports and testing are required to provide an official diagnosis. Whether you have AD/HD or live or work with someone who does, I’d like to give you some information to help you understand how AD/HD affects people’s organization skills. This is by no means a complete discussion of this complex disorder, but an overview that I hope will make it easier for all touched by AD/HD to create environments that will help the affected persons be their best.

AD/HD is a neurobiological difference in the brain that affects “executive function”, the part of the brain that controls the processes of self- regulation (impulsivity), memory, focus, decision-making and planning. All of these skills are important in the organization process – either to set up an organizational system or to maintain it.

AD/HD in not just a childhood issue – it carries on into adulthood and can negatively impact relationships, including those at school or at work. After all, constantly being late, acting out in school, missing deadlines, etc. aren’t very socially acceptable.

Here are a few of my favorite tips to overcome some of the organizing challenges faced by people with (or without) AD/HD:

  • Prioritize your to-dos by asking, “What’s the most important thing I have to do today?” based on deadlines, financial impact, or other possible negative outcomes. Make a short list of today’s priorities (five or fewer items) and put it where you’ll see it.
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  • To combat distraction and memory issues, write down whatever task you want to be working on at the moment, then set a timer (preferably one that automatically resets) for 10 minutes. When the timer goes off, make sure you’re working on whatever you intended. If not, get back to it.

Here’s a link to my newsletter where I offer additional organizing tips for people with AD/HD. I’d love to hear what techniques you’ve found helpful to keep yourself or a friend or loved one with AD/HD organized.

Wishing you simplicity, harmony  and freedom,

Signature Sue

Take a Break and Get More Done

July 21st, 2010

TAKE A BREAKWhen life gets busy (and when doesn’t it?) we often feel that we have to put our head down and plow full steam ahead to get as much done as possible. While it may seem counterintuitive, taking a break can actually help you accomplish more, and make life more enjoyable at the same time. Giving your mind (and body) a chance to rest can help refocus your attention and boost your energy as well as help relieve stress and sharpen your cognitive ability.

In their book, The Power of Full Engagement, energy management gurus Jim Loehr  and Tony Schwartz describe the physiological changes our bodies go through when we’ve reached a low point in our energy cycle. While techniques such as drinking coffee or eating a candy bar may successfully produce a short-term energy boost, they’re not a great substitute for our body’s natural cycle of engagement and recovery.

I’ve experienced this productivity recovery phenomenon first-hand. Back in my paper-writing days during college and grad school, I’d intentionally walk away from my current writing assignment for 15 minutes or so and be amazed at the renewed focus and energy I’d discover upon my return to the task. I’d also marvel at the ease with which I’d catch errors that I previously hadn’t noticed.  A fresh set of eyes and a clear mind made all the difference.

Taking breaks has also been shown to be highly beneficial for people with AD/HD. My own experience when working with clients with AD/HD has shown that when they take a short break of ten or so minutes, it breaks up the monotony (serving their desire for a change of pace) and boosts their energy. “Green” breaks during which they look outside (or even go outside) to look at the green grass or trees have also proven to be highly beneficial. A study by researchers at the University of Essex (England) found that just 5 minutes a day of exposure to nature is all you need to improve your mood and self-esteem.

To get yourself in the habit of taking breaks, determine what your concentration limit is and set a timer to remind yourself to walk away from your current project for a while. The length of the break is less important than the act of simply changing your focus for a moment – something as simple as taking a bathroom break can do wonders for your productivity. Maybe drinking eight glasses of water a day (or whatever the experts now say is the proper amount) can have a side benefit of boosting your productivity by making you take a bio break every few hours.

 So how will you minimize the mental field trips your mind takes as you work through your day?

Here’s to your life of simplicity, harmony and freedom,

Signature_Sue