Feel like you have too much to do and not enough time to do it? Who doesn’t? But the simple word “no” can help you find more time. By setting priorities, you can identify which people, organizations, activities and causes aren’t in alignment with your goals. Saying “no” in these situations can free up time and allow you to say “yes” to more fulfilling activities that are in alignment with your goals.
Last year was my year of “no.” For example, I dropped out of two professional groups I’d been a member of for quite a while because they were no longer helping me grow my business. I’ve been able to maintain the friendships I’d developed in those groups, but I am now able to devote the time I’d otherwise have spent attending the group’ events to other activities that align better with my current situation. Two other long-term members of one of the groups also dropped out after I did – my move prompted them to re-evaluate their priorities and see that their time would be better spent on other things.
So, what activities are you engaged in that no longer serve you well? Rather than just rolling along, evaluate if they are still a good fit for what you want out of life. Here are some thoughts that may help you feel bolder about saying “no”:
- Every time you say “yes” to doing something, you’re saying “no” to other things you won’t have time to do as a result.
- Even if the requester tries to entice you with how little time their request will take (e.g., “It will only take a few minutes”) remember that you’ll never get that time back.
- Rather than considering only the amount of time your obligation will require you to invest by saying “yes”, think of what it will cost you in terms of activities and accomplishments you won’t have time for. For example, attending a meeting won’t just take up 30 minutes of your life, it will cost you time away from your family.
- When you’re compelled to say “yes,” be aware of whether you’re responding out of a sincere desire to be of service, or rather out of a sense of fear, obligation, or payback. Reconsider your response if it’s one of the latter three. Of course, you may still decide to assist, but at least you’ll be doing it consciously.
- Rather than a flat-out “no,” consider whether you can say “yes” to some part of the request, or help out in some other way that is more agreeable to you.
- It’s not only other people we sometimes should sat “no” to – television, social media, reading blogs (gasp!), and kids’ activities (do they need to be involved in quite so many?) are just some examples of behaviors that can steal our time from more fulfilling endeavors.
Saying “no” may not be easy, but it is essential to long-term fulfillment. I’d love to hear what you’ve said “no” (or “yes”) to and how it’s changed your life.
Wishing you simplicity, harmony and freedom,