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Get Organized and Find Fulfillment

March 18th, 2013

I’ve previously written about how clearing the clutter from your life can help you be more prosperous. I’ve just finished reading another book that supports the same concept: The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity: A Simple Guide to Unlimited Abundance by Edwene Gaines. Ms. Gaines describes her own journey from poverty to prosperity and gives those of us who may feel guilty about doing so permission to live a life of abundance. While that abundant life may be rich in physical possessions, she indicates that it should also include fully using our talents and letting the light of our abilities shine for the world to see and benefit from.

One concept from the book in particular resonated with me is be who you really are. I spent 20 years in a variety of accounting and finance jobs before I realized that I wasn’t being who I really was. I was going through the motions of going to work every day with the knowledge that in the big scheme of things, my job was insignificant. My lack of fulfillment led me to do some soul-searching and I was lucky enough to discover a great outlet for my skills. My job as an organizing and productivity coach not only allows me to fully use my talents, but the fact that I get to help other people live a better life give me the fulfillment I was missing in my corporate jobs.

Many of my clients, especially those with ADHD, struggle to fit into the square hole that the world seems to offer them. They spend time and money building a life that reflects what they think the world wants them to be, rather than being who they really are. They may have a job that they don’t find fulfilling; or live in a home that doesn’t bring them joy or reflect who they are; or go to social events that make them feel like an actor in someone else’s play. As I help them with the process of de-cluttering and organizing their life, they often discover their authentic self and that allows us to create an environment that brings them joy.

For example, I recently coached a client on how to develop and practice time management skills in her workplace. We talked about how she was spending her time versus how she wanted to spend her time; what she was getting done versus what she wanted to get done; what she always seemed to make time for versus what she never seemed to have time for. As we sketched out how her work week would look, she realized that none of it would bring her joy. Even if she worked more efficiently, she wouldn’t find her job fulfilling. She eventually left that job and started her own business in a completely different field. When she thanked me for helping her make the most of her skills, she also expressed her desire to “encourage other adults like me that following passion and being happy is SO liberating.”

Does your life allow you to follow your true passion? Is your environment cluttered with possessions that don’t reflect who you are and who you want to become? Is your home or workplace filled with clutter that prevents you from moving forward on your journey to discover your true self? Are your days filled with activities that prevent you from achieving your greatest possibilities? These can be scary questions to ponder, but you can go through the process of getting organized at a pace that’s comfortable for you as you find the answers. As you work through your organizing challenges, you’ll move along the path towards living a fulfilling life that will let your light shine before the world. Good luck on your journey, and feel free to contact me if you’d like help along the way.

Wishing you simplicity, harmony and freedom,

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Posted in Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Goals, Simplicity

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Lists Can Help You Gain Control

October 1st, 2012

Get the oil on the car changed; plan Saturday’s dinner party; write thank you note to Jenna – these are the items on my to-do list for today. And I mean an actual written list, not just some ideas floating around in my head. Why, you may ask, would I need to write these down? After all, it’s only three things. Writing things down prevents me from forgetting things, helps me know what to focus on, and frees me from the stress of having to remember. Writing it isn’t the same as having it in my head – a written list is like a best friend who gently reminds me what and when I should be working on hings to keep me out of trouble. A written list puts me in control of my day, and it can do the same for you.

I have several lists that help me take advantage of the power of writing things down, and I’m sharing them with you here. If you’d like a complete collection of all the forms and lists that help me and my clients stay organized, check out my APPLES Resource Guide. Fear not, Jenna – your thank-you note is in the mail!

Before I start describing my lists, I want to comment on what form your lists can take. I prefer written lists – they work well with my paper planner and I like the hand-to-brain connection of writing things down. You may prefer electronic lists – something you can save on your computer or carry around on your smart phone. Here are two resources that can get you started on making electronic lists: IQtell and Lifehacker. I’d love to hear what electronic lists you like to use.

Okay, on to my list of lists:

Master To-Do List This is where I write down things I have to do that I’m not quite sure when I’ll do. For example, I want to follow my own advice and update my emergency plans (e.g., what to do if a tornado wipes out my home). I could just choose a date to do it and jot it down on the corresponding page in my planner. However, my next couple of months are very full so I’m not quite sure when I’ll do it. Rather than trusting that I’ll remember to do it at some point, I’ve added it to my master to-do list. I keep this list in my planner, review it once a week (the reminder to do so is on my Weekly To-Do List) and schedule anything I’m ready to commit to doing. You can read more about a master do-do list in my previous blog posting.

Weekly To-Do List My weekly to-do list is typed onto a notecard that moves from Sunday to Sunday (attached via paper clip) in my paper planner. It reminds me to do things like water the houseplants, plan next week’s meals (check out my previous blog posting on meal planning), and prepare for next week’s clients. My houseplants, hungry family and clients appreciate my being on top of these things.

Daily To-Do List I have two kinds of daily to-do lists; one is similar to what most people use – I pick three to five things I want to get done on any given day and write those in my planner. But I also have a daily list that’s typed on a notecard and moves from day to day in my planner. It lists recurring tasks I want to attend to each day, like water my outdoor flowers, thaw the next day’s dinner (thanks to planning meals each week, this is easy), and check some of my social media sites. Even though I remember to do most of these things without looking at the list, having them written down keeps things from falling through the cracks.

Here’s a link to my newsletter where you can read more about the lists that keep me organized. I’d love to hear what lists you use to help you stay on top of things

Wishing you simplicity, harmony and freedom,

 

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Posted in Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Organizing Process, Time Management

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Family with ADHD Gets Organized Together

September 13th, 2012

My favorite part about my job is that I help people improve the quality of their lives – whether I’m working with them side by side or by phone, or even through my blog or newsletter. I received an email from someone I’ve never met, but who was inspired by my writings to set herself and her family on the path towards being organized. I’m sharing her note to inspire you to discover the simplicity, harmony and freedom of being organized in your own home:

“Dear Sue,
My 10 year old son is diagnosed ADHD and my husband and I, we suspect, also have some ADHD in us.  So it’s great to see someone addressing these types of issues when it comes to organization.

Your posts are always so helpful.  I just read your blog post on clutter and financial prosperity.  That is so true, both directly and indirectly!  I also read over your back to school post which is a great reminder for us.  And I just planned out my menu for the remainder of the week.  I try to plan menus and it doesn’t always happen but when it does things definitely run smoother.

Wanted to share my story with you…maybe you’ve mentioned something like this in the past in your blog but here goes. I’ve been struggling all summer to declutter my home. I went back to work full-time a little over 2 years ago.  It was a big transition then and things are now starting to really pile up, closets bulging, financial papers in disarray, etc., etc.  We have a bi-weekly cleaning service come in but I think that actually makes the clutter worse as things are put in piles and stashed away for cleaning. Even though everything looks great after a cleaning, by the end of 2 weeks, things are everywhere again and have to be pile or stashed away;  the cycle repeats itself.  So I’ve decided the whole house needs a good decluttering and downsizing of stuff….I’ve made a little progress this summer but then I get tired, overwhelmed, overly perfectionist-y, burned out and turn my attention elsewhere. It’s almost the end of the summer and my list is still pretty long.

This week, I decided to ask my family for help. My husband can’t stand clutter but he doesn’t know what to throw away, put away, etc. When I was a stay at home mom, we got into some bad habits of me handling everything in the home. So, he usually gets overwhelmed, moves things around a little bit and just retreats to the basement.  Then there are the kids…they are 10 and 6.  They certainly don’t want to waste their free time cleaning. But I can’t do it all.  I am also making a serious effort at getting fit so my time is limited.

So yesterday morning, I wrote them all a sweet note and informed them of my intentions to start the school year organized. I wrote that I would like them all to help and we would start in the evening with our craft pantry and plastics drawers.  Then I left for work before they got up.

When I picked up the kids at the end of the day and asked them about my plan, they were not thrilled. Neither was my husband. But after dinner and some downtime, my daughter and I got started.  And eventually, the guys got involved, too.  I gave them jobs they could handle…I had the kids help me take items out of the drawer. Then together we went through the different cups and decided which to throw away. My husband glued a found broken item. Then he was ready to wipe down the drawers and put everything away. He didn’t put things away exactly the way I would but it was done and organized, which is all that matters. (big aha moment for me!)  The kids and I started on the craft cabinet which really took an all-hands-on-deck approach. To my surprise, they did a really good job of letting things go and my daughter was downright relentless (lol)! We decided we should add a couple of shelves to the cabinet so my husband worked on that. At bedtime, everything still needed to be put away. I took care of that and sent everyone to bed. I ran out of time but will finish putting the last few items away tonight. It should only take a few minutes.

What I’ve been trying to accomplish all summer, the family finished in a couple of hours. In addition to some cleaner spaces and checking off some nagging projects, we also got the unexpected benefits of family bonding and a feeling of teamwork. At one point, one of the kids said it was actually kind of fun!  And I don’t know how many times I heard, “Oh! That’s where that is!”  Now, hopefully the kids will also take some pride in their work and help keep things cleaner. Now we have some momentum and I think we’re going to tackle our dining room tonight.

Well, thanks for listening to my long story. Since you “helped” do this in a sense, I thought you should know. I know it was only half of a pantry and a couple of drawers but I think this is the start of something big in our
home.
Take care,
Chris”

Thanks so much for sharing, Chris – please check in again and let us all know how you’re doing. I’d love to hear from other readers about how your organizing journey is going. And if you need a bit of help, either in person or by phone, please get in touch.

Wishing you simplicity, harmony and freedom,

 

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Posted in Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Home Organizing, Organizing Process

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Shopping: The Misguided Search for Happiness

July 18th, 2012

In my 12 years of helping people de-clutter and organize their lives, I know one thing for sure – Americans have too much stuff. Even though our houses are, on average, 50% bigger than the average house in the 1950s, we still need storage units to hold some of our belongings. Come on people, what’s with all the stuff! Is it making you happy?

I recently watched a TV show on which a financial planner was helping a couple develop a strategy to get out from under their credit card debt. The wife (I can’t remember her name, but I’ll call her “Janet”) went to the mall every weekend with her mother and sister and employed a shopping strategy whereby she “saved” money by buying things on sale that she didn’t need. The financial planner referred to  Janet’s strategy as “spaving” – the misguided notion that spending money to save money on things you don’t need is a viable financial strategy. As it turned out, Janet got as much pleasure from being with her mom and sister as she did from making the purchases. She revised her behavior so she would simply enjoy the time with them without making any purchases. In the long run, she got more happiness from reducing her financial burden than from spaving.

I’ve worked with a particular client (I’ll call him “Joe”) for quite a few years – he’s on an eternal quest to make his condo less cluttered so visiting family members can stay overnight in his spare bedroom. Unfortunately, that bedroom is filled with “bargains” from shopping adventures. As much as Joe loves the idea of having an inviting home, he can’t get over the thrill of the bargain hunt, and his hunting “trophies” have taken over his guest room. Joe justifies his purchases by saying he’ll be giving them as gifts to those same family members he can’t have over, and he feels good about how thoughtful he is. Sadly, the gifts never seem to make it to their intended recipients. Joe is fed up with his situation – his bargains and his intent to be thoughtful sure haven’t made him happy. By the way, you may be surprised to know that statistics suggest that almost half of over-shoppers may be male.

I’m fortunate to have an inherent dislike of shopping, so I’ve never found myself in Janet or Joe’s situation. But I certainly do understand it. In my training to become a Certified Professional Organizer in Chronic Disorganization, I learned that over-shopping is sometimes due to an unmet emotional need. If you think you may be shopping for that reason, ask yourself what you’re really shopping for. Like Janet, are you shopping for the social aspect? Are you trying to add some excitement to an otherwise boring day? It might be helpful to document how you’re feeling before, during and after you go shopping to see if there’s a pattern or common trigger.

The media certainly doesn’t make it any easier to resist the lure of shopping – magazine ads, TV ads, billboards, and even the content of TV shows and movies all tell us that more is better. If you can’t resist this external stimuli, turn it off – get off the catalog mailing lists (try CatalogChoice.org to make it easier), turn down the sound and walk away from the TV during commercials, unsubscribe from e-mail notifications from stores, etc.

You might also enlist the help of a supportive friend to keep you on track – is there someone you can call when you’re feeling tempted to shop who might fill the emotional void you’re trying to fill? Maybe you could take your support person with you when you absolutely have to go to the store to help keep you from straying into dangerous over-shopping territory. In addition to support from a friend, here’s a resource you may find helpful: Stopping Overshopping, LLC

In the words of writer Eric Hoffer, “You can never get enough of what you don’t need to make you happy.” Best wishes as you search for what truly makes you happy.

Wishing you simplicity, harmony and freedom,

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Posted in Chronic Disorganization, Shopping

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Improve Your Focus by Minimizing Distractions

June 4th, 2012

As we transition into summer, it’s sometimes hard for me to stay focused on work-related tasks. Sunshine, singing birds, gentle breezes, even rainstorms all serve as potential distractions to my well-planned summer work schedule. I know many of you, especially those with AD/HD, face a similar challenge –staying focused when there are dozens of things hollering for your attention. Here are some ideas to help you stay on course yet still have time for fun in the sun:

Plan around your peak mental energy time. What time of day are you the most alert? Use that time to work on difficult, unpleasant tasks that require a lot of mental calories – you’ll be more likely to stay on task when your brainpower matches the complexity of the task at hand.

Remove physical distractions. Whether you’re working on a project at your desk or trying to get dinner on the table, remove things from view that might take you away from the task at hand. Put away papers and files you’re not currently working on before you pull out a new project; clean up remnants of past meals before starting to prepare a new one. If you’re working in a space that’s particularly messy and distractions are hard to put away, cover the areas you won’t be working on with a sheet to hide them from view.

Write it down. On a sticky note, jot down what you intend to be working on and put it where you can see it – next to your computer monitor, on your phone, on your hand – you get the idea. This visual reminder can rein you in when you’re starting to stray.

Use a timer. Set a timer at periodic intervals to check in with yourself and see if you’re working on what you intended.  Depending on your susceptibility to distraction, the intervals can be as short as 10 minutes or as long as an hour.

Here’s a link to my newsletter where you can read more about how to stay focused and get things done. I’d love to hear how you manage to stay focused when the rest of the world is calling to you.

Wishing you simplicity, harmony and freedom,

 

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Posted in Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Causes of Disorganization, Time Management

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Partnering Can Help You Overcome Your Organizing Challenges

January 20th, 2012

It’s finally happened – the last traces of holiday candy, cookies, chocolate covered pretzels, kettle corn and other assorted holiday treats that have filled my home for the last month and a half have been consumed. At last I can continue my quest to eat more healthfully. Sure, I could have embraced healthy eating all along, but until all temptation disappeared from my sight, the lure of sugar always seemed to overtake my limited willpower. And it wouldn’t have been fair to the rest of my household to just throw out those tempting morsels.

So what does this is have to do with organizing? Just like my limited willpower regarding junk food would have made it incredibly difficult to avoid eating it, circumstances in your life may make getting or staying organized a real challenge. Now that doesn’t mean you can’t overcome those challenges, but it’s important to recognize that they’re there. Why? First, so you’ll cut yourself some slack about why the seemingly simple quest to get organized can be so challenging. Second, so you can do something to move those obstacles out of the way.

What kinds of challenges am I talking about? Some of the more common ones I encounter with my clients are: a workload that leaves no time or energy for organizing; limited knowledge about how to get organized; feeling overwhelmed; fear of failure; perfectionism; and finding organizing boring and isolating.

All of these challenges can, at least in part, be mitigated by working on your organizing project with someone else. Working with someone else can give you the energy and motivation you need to stay on task, and can make the process move along more quickly than when you work solo. An organizing partner can help you develop new ideas about how to approach your most challenging organizing obstacles, and can help you break your project down into manageable steps to remove that sense of overwhelm. Working with someone else can give you a sense of accountability so that you are more inclined to maintain your organizing systems. Your organizing buddy can help you recognize when you’re falling into perfectionism mode and help you identify just how detailed your organizing efforts need to be. And best of all, an organizing partner can make the organizing process easier, interesting and yes, even enjoyable. There are a lot of similarities to the benefits of working with a personal trainer, which I’ve written about previously.

So how do you choose your organizing partner? The key characteristics for a successful partnership are working with someone who is nonjudgmental, will work confidentially, and who will gently bring you back on track when you’ve veered off.  In addition, they must be focused on helping you achieve your goals, not theirs. They must be patient and supportive, and most of all, someone with whom you’re comfortable sharing your situation and your memories. If you’re not lucky  enough to have a friend or family member who embraces these qualities or who is willing to help you, I’m at your service.

So what obstacles are getting in the way of you organizing goals? What can you do to eliminate them?

Wishing you simplicity, harmony and freedom,

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Posted in Causes of Disorganization, Chronic Disorganization, Organizing Challenges, Organizing Process

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Don’t Forget to Plan for Travel Time

February 16th, 2011

Senior woman in oldtimer carDo you feel like you’re always running late to appointments and events no matter how hard you try to be on time? Do you frequently lose patience when caught in traffic because you’re rushing to get somewhere? Many of my clients, especially those with ADHD, experience the same frustration.

One common cause of their recurring tardiness is not building travel time into their schedule. There are sometimes other issues as well, such as being anxious about arriving early and having nothing to do, but ignoring how long it takes to get somewhere is almost always part of the mix. 

So what’s the solution? Being cognizant of how long it takes to get somewhere is the first step. If you’re not good at estimating travel time (and certainly most people with ADHD are not), consider using an online mapping program (Mapquest, Google Maps, etc.) or a GPS to get you started. Add extra travel time to the estimate the program or GPS gives you, as appropriate. I sometimes go so far as to double the time given to account for traveling during a heavy traffic time of day. 

The next step is to record the travel time on your calendar (you do have a calendar, right?). If your appointment time is at noon, for example, and you’ve generously estimated it will take a half hour to get there, block off 11:30 – noon on your calendars so you can be sure you’ve set aside the right amount of time. Honor the 11:30 timeslot as importantly as you would that noon appointment – make sure you’re out the door when you need to be. 

Continue to increase your on-time arrival percentage by improving your travel time awareness. Pay attention to how long it takes to get places at various times of day; maybe it takes twice as long to get to a particular destination during rush hour as it does during midday, as long as accidents, weather conditions and other possible impediments aren’t a factor.

As I previously mentioned, there may be other issues that impact your on-time arrival, but planning for travel time will get you that much closer to being on time. I’d love to hear how well it works for you. 

Wishing you simplicity, harmony and freedom,

Signature Sue

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Posted in Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Causes of Disorganization, Life Lessons, Time Management

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Change and Organizing

January 26th, 2011

Change to a better placeJanuary is almost over, and so, too, may be your memories of making a New Year’s resolution to get organized. Rather than viewing your organizing aspirations as hopeless, you might consider whether you’re ready to change. If not, you’ll need to address your lack of readiness before you’ll be successful at getting and staying organized.

Why is readiness to change important? Although getting organized may seem like strictly a physical process, there is a lot of change that happens inside one’s brain when going through the process of getting organized. Not only are you changing habits, but you’re changing how you think about yourself. For example, I’ve had clients whose disorganization prevents them from creating strong relationships because they’re embarrassed to have company in their home. Some have held onto unsatisfying jobs because they couldn’t get organized enough to do a job search. Underneath the surface of these obstacles was their fear of change. After all, what if, after cleaning up her home and getting organized, my client still didn’t have any friends?  What if the client with the unsatisfying job couldn’t get a different job even after he got organized?  Suddenly, their lack of a fulfillment seems more like a character flaw than simply a matter of disorganization. 

Is fear and not being ready to change holding you back from getting organized?  If you want to move past this fear and uncertainty, you might want to reach out for help. Therapists, social workers, and counselors are all potential resources to help you shift your thinking. I’ve helped clients who haven’t needed the aforementioned therapeutic help align their goal of getting organized with their values and aspirations so that they can achieve organizational success on their terms. Some key steps in this process include:

  • Determining and taking action steps to get organized
  • Creating a support network of family members, friends and coworkers
  • Identifying a process for accountability
  • Determining rewards for achievement
  • Accepting backsliding as normal

Now that you know how complex the process of change can be in relation to getting organized, be forgiving with yourself if you haven’t achieved your organizing resolution yet. You can either do something to move yourself closer to being ready to change, or accept yourself where you are and recognize that you’re just not ready yet.

No matter where you are on your journey, I wish you simplicity, harmony and freedom,

Signature Sue

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Posted in Causes of Disorganization, Chronic Disorganization, Goal Setting, Goals, Organizing Challenges

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What I Learned at Conference

October 6th, 2010

2010 10 NSGCDI recently returned from the annual conference of the National Study Group on Chronic Disorganization  (which announced that its name will be changing to “Institute for Challenging Disorganization” on 1.1.11). I’m always amazed at how many new things I learn at each year’s conference, and this year was no exception. I’m excited to share some of my newly-gained knowledge with you – I hope this information will help you gain insight into your thoughts, emotions and behaviors and their impact on your organizational situation.  

Dr. Wanda Bethea spoke about Positive Psychology:

Positive psychology is the scientific study of what makes life worth living as people strive to live meaningful and fulfilling lives and cultivate what is best within them.

The goal of positive psychology is to change one’s focus from a preoccupation only with repairing the worst things in life to also building positive qualities.

One effect of feeling fulfilled and satisfied is a greater chance of creating an environment that supports one’s ability to thrive and focus attention on sources of psychological health rather than upon only disorder.

A ”positivity ratio” of 3 positive emotions for every negative emotion increases your ability to become your best version of yourself. Creating an environment that promotes the following emotions (and removing objects that detract from these emotions) will help increase your positivity ratio: joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, awe and love).

Here’s a link to my newsletter where I talk about some additional things I learned at the NSGCD conference.  I’d love to hear how this information  helps you or someone you know move forward on the journey towards being organized.

Wishing you simplicity, harmony and freedom,

Signature Sue

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Posted in Chronic Disorganization, Learning Styles, Organizing Process

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AD/HD and (Dis) Organization

September 13th, 2010

AD/HD FrustrationThis week (September 13-17, 2010) is AD/HD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) Awareness Week. AD/HD is characterized by inattentiveness, impulsivity and sometimes, hyperactivity (the official name is AD/HD regardless of whether or not someone has the hyperactivity component). Although someone may have some or all of these traits, personal history, collaborative reports and testing are required to provide an official diagnosis. Whether you have AD/HD or live or work with someone who does, I’d like to give you some information to help you understand how AD/HD affects people’s organization skills. This is by no means a complete discussion of this complex disorder, but an overview that I hope will make it easier for all touched by AD/HD to create environments that will help the affected persons be their best.

AD/HD is a neurobiological difference in the brain that affects “executive function”, the part of the brain that controls the processes of self- regulation (impulsivity), memory, focus, decision-making and planning. All of these skills are important in the organization process – either to set up an organizational system or to maintain it.

AD/HD in not just a childhood issue – it carries on into adulthood and can negatively impact relationships, including those at school or at work. After all, constantly being late, acting out in school, missing deadlines, etc. aren’t very socially acceptable.

Here are a few of my favorite tips to overcome some of the organizing challenges faced by people with (or without) AD/HD:

  • Prioritize your to-dos by asking, “What’s the most important thing I have to do today?” based on deadlines, financial impact, or other possible negative outcomes. Make a short list of today’s priorities (five or fewer items) and put it where you’ll see it.

    •  

  • To combat distraction and memory issues, write down whatever task you want to be working on at the moment, then set a timer (preferably one that automatically resets) for 10 minutes. When the timer goes off, make sure you’re working on whatever you intended. If not, get back to it.

Here’s a link to my newsletter where I offer additional organizing tips for people with AD/HD. I’d love to hear what techniques you’ve found helpful to keep yourself or a friend or loved one with AD/HD organized.

Wishing you simplicity, harmony  and freedom,

Signature Sue

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Posted in Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Causes of Disorganization, Chronic Disorganization, Organizing Challenges, Time Management

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